Burned Brass Medal

Staring at that burned brass medal, my memories pour out of my mind, my heart lifts and my eyes tears. Those people I shared my life with, they are my friends, they are my peers, they are my companions, and they are those who I care about. My eyes stream with the emotions I feel for them. If I was given the choice to ruin my life in order to ensure that they would be successful and happy, I would without a second thought.
I wonder as this weight is in my hand if I will maintain these bonds, these friends. Making them laugh, seeing them smile, and sharing moments with them all; will I continue to do this? I will try will all my heart but my own nature seems to detour me from that. I am by my own convictions a lonely soul and happy and content with that, but the joy that I feel with them, with my peers is so fulfilling and so overwhelming that I would try to change my nature and shift my priorities in order to try to spend some of my moments with them.
My friends will be gone soon, beyond a reasonable physical reach. But the time that I have left I hope I am able to spend with them, even if it is a little. Although I call these people my friends and my bonds in this life, I know they are not close to me. I know that I am not always a part of their group and the one I was closet with is already gone. But I hope that I will be with them.
It saddens me to think of this, but the memories it recalls also makes me relive the joys already felt with them and makes all the sadness worth it.
There are those I could call brother and there are those who I could call sister and I would believe they would know who they are. Maybe not. By my own nature I wouldn’t let it show as much as I would like.
Placing the medal on the table I know that things will change but change isn’t always bad but the outcome will have to be adjusted to or it will be bad. These bonds I have I hope will sustain for the rest of my life but if not then I would cherish even the smallest moment longer with those bonds.